better than nothing
by stolashoots
Summary: Fics for tomoshipping week 2016
1. this isn't goodbye

Nasch wakes to warmth, both a blanket and another body wrapped around him. He breathes in, then out, then turns to face Durbe. He's still sleeping, face peaceful, and Nasch wishes he could let him continue dreaming, but light is filtering through the shades and he knows this won't last forever. Nasch wraps an arm around Durbe's waste and leans forward to press his lips against the tip of Durbe's nose, then his eyelids, then finally Durbe's mouth.

Durbe's eyes flicker open at this. "Morning, Sunshine," he mumbles, blinking and stretching out his arms. He kisses Nasch back, and Nasch closes his eyes, desperate to implant this into his memory. This will be the last time they can be together like this for the foreseeable future, and he wants to remember every moment of it.

They separate too soon, and Durbe slips out from under the covers to go collect his clothes scattered on the floor. Nasch doesn't move from his position besides rolling into his back to watch Durbe pull on his clothes. He doesn't want to get up, doesn't want to get dressed and go downstairs and act like there's nothing between him and Durbe when he sends Durbe off.

If Merag was here, she'd accuse him of acting like a child, not a king. She'd yank the blankets off him, shove him out of bed, and tell him to get off his ass and do his duty for his kingdom. Even if that means letting Durbe go.

So Nasch climbs to his feet, dons his ceremonial robes, and brushes his hair down. He opens the blinds to let the sun in.

When he's finished, he turns to his partner. "Durbe, I want to say goodbye now."

"Now?" Durbe repeats, lacing up his boots.

"Yes, without an audience."

Durbe stands, his attention caught. "What do you wish to tell me, my King?" His lips twitch up into a smile.

"Don't be like that," Nasch rolls his eyes and sits on the edge of the bed, then changes his mind and stands again. "Be safe out there," Nasch's eyes flicker towards the window and the sky beyond. "I mean it, too. I want to see you again one day."

Durbe steps forward into Nasch's personal space, his smile fading. "I'm not planning on dying, you know. And I can't stay here forever."

"And I do not intend to keep you here forever, I just." Nasch pauses. Durbe does not speak, giving Nasch time to swallow his pride. "I just fear that you will not come back, and I will be here praying for your return just like the women do when their husbands leave for war."

Durbe shakes his head and takes Nasch's hands. "It won't be like that, Nasch. I'm not going to war, and you'll be so busy you'll hardly know I'm gone."

Nasch sighs, "I don't like goodbyes."

"Then don't think of this as a goodbye. Think of it as... a vacation. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, you know." Durbe smiles at his own joke, and Nasch can't hold back a smile of his own.

Durbe lets go of one of his hands to caress Nasch's cheek. "This will not be the end of us, my King. We will see each other again one day." He presses their lips together. "This is not goodbye," he repeats, then goes for another kiss.

When they pull away, Durbe is no longer smiling. Nasch wonders if Durbe believes his own words, but there's no time to ask because there's a knock on the door. Durbe steps back. "It's time to leave."

At the door waits Merag, and she gives Durbe a kiss on the cheek in greeting. "Good morning, Sir Durbe, brother. Are you ready for your flight?" Durbe nods. "Good. Let's go, boys, breakfast is ready for us."

She leads them to the dining room, none of them speaking. Breakfast is a quiet affair too, the only sounds being the clinking of forks against plates as they eat their eggs.

Breakfast also finishes too fast, and soon Nasch and Merag escort their foreign companion to the stables. A handful of Durbe's friends wait for him, holding last minute goodbye presents to give to him. Thick clouds conglomerate in the skin, and everyone is forced to say their goodbyes quickly before the heavens begin to pour. Durbe insists Mach can handle a storm, but it's bad luck to send a guest off during a rain shower.

"May your flight be smooth," Merag says as she slips out a small package of hard candy out of her pocket and hands it to Durbe. They share a smile and a hug.

"Thank you, Lady Merag." They step away, and Durbe turns to Nasch. "Goodbye, my King."

Nasch shakes his head, thinking of what Durbe told him earlier. "This isn't goodbye, my friend."

"You're right, of course." Durbe's goofy smile makes Nasch's heart flutter. "We will see each other again, my King."

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	2. to want something one cannot have

The Barian world is barren and the blistering heat bakes the dried ground. This planet is not suitable for life; yet somehow, there are creatures still able to survive here. The Barian Emperors were created from the same rock and crystal that holds this world together, leaving them strong and sturdy and burning bright.

Despite his young age, Nasch burns the strongest of them all, a blue giant surrounded by main sequence stars. He illuminates the true path for them, drawing in scattered individuals and persuading them to join together to fight their common adversary. In only a few short years, Nasch has the Barians under his control, and by the time Durbe falls from the heavens like a shooting star, Nasch is their leader.

When Durbe is pulled from his crater by Alit and Gilag and dragged up to Nasch's rocky throne, he meets the one thing on this god forsaken planet worth protecting. If Nasch is the sun, then Durbe will be his satellite, orbiting in Nasch's gravity for eternity until one day consumed by his flames.

These emotions trigger something in Durbe, a sort of déjà vu that he's unable to put his finger on but resonates deep within him. This is his destiny, to serve and protect his Emperor, to fight and die for his Lord.

Nasch burns from the chaos energy. Durbe burns for Nasch.

(It's not until centuries later that Durbe finally understands what he's been feeling for so long. Love is not a word in Barian vocabulary, but then again, Durbe isn't really a Barian, is he?)

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	3. snippet 1

They seal their secret with a kiss, gentle and languid. Their passion lacks heat, their hands wander without aim. They have all the time in the world to learn each other's bodies; there's no reason to rush now and ruin the moment.

Nasch nibbles on Durbe's bottom lip, then lets go as Durbe pulls away to press sloppy kisses down Nasch's neck. Durbe tugs down the collar of Nasch's shirt to suck at the skin previously hidden skin. Not long after, he moves on; Durbe has no interest in bruising his partner, not when Nasch is already covered in marks from their earlier training.

Durbe climbs back up to kiss Nasch's cheek, then rolls off him and back onto the bed. Nasch finds his hand and intertwines their fingers. They lie together, waiting for their heartbeat to return to normal.


	4. present lives

"We should date," Ryouga tells him, not looking up from the book he's using for his English reading assignment. Durbe watches as he brings up the pencil in his hand and jots down a quick note on the edge of the page. At this rate, Ryouga will be banned from the library for writing in books, and he'll have to convince one of his friends to check out books in his stead.

Ryouga does not continue his train of thought as Durbe expected, and Durbe turns his attention to his own homework to keep himself from staring at his friend. "I thought we were already dating." He says, thinking back to their past life as king and knight. "We used to go on dates all the time." Durbe can still remember going on day trips with Nasch to the other side of the island or to an adjacent island where they could be away from wandering eyes and eavesdropping ears. Just thinking about them warms Durbe's heart.

"Those don't count," Ryouga says too quickly, then backtracks, "Wait, no, that's not what I meant. They do count, they just." He sighs and sets down his pencil to run his hand through his hair, scratching at his scalp. "That was a long time ago. We've changed. And we separated after we died."

Durbe doesn't tell Ryouga that he never stopped loving Nasch, even after they lost their memories and became so-called heartless Barians. Not even Durbe would have continued searching for a missing person just because he was Durbe's superior. Nasch's disappearance dealt a terrible blow to Durbe, and he had refused to abandon someone he held so close to his heart.

"Oh," says Durbe.

"So I was thinking, now that things have calmed down some, we could try again. This time without all of the sneaking around and hiding our relationship. And without the whole dying thing." Ryouga won't meet his eyes, staring intently down at the page in front of him. His ears, visible because Ryouga tied up his hair earlier, flush pink.

"I think Merag knew what we were doing from the beginning." Durbe smiles and reaches out to take Ryouga's empty hand.

Ryouga snaps his head up, nose scrunched. "I certainly hope not –"

Durbe takes his chances and leans forward, pressing a kiss against Ryouga's still open mouth. When he pulls away, Ryouga splutters, his entire fact blooming red.

"Let's try again," Durbe agrees, turning back to his half completed homework. Out of the corner of his eye, he spies Ryouga staring at him for a minute, his skin gradually returning to its normal shade, before he nods and returns to his book. They don't let go of each other's hand.

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